V love Kinley V hate Pilley

Maldivians very angry because UN human rights ambassador Pillay come to Maldives and speak in the Parliament. Now Maldivians are protesting against former Aminiya School teacher Sagar Pillay.

"Government is very bad. They allowed Sagar Luthufy also to hide in Colombo. Now Sagar Pillay speaks against Islam in parliament," one protestor said.

"V Love Kinley. V Hate Pilley," one placard by protestor said. Kinley is very popular bottled water by Coca Cola Company. Coca Cola is biggest symbol of corporate America which supports state of Israel.

maldives always naturist

Maldives got brand new slogan. Famous company make this new slogan. Maldives Always Naturist.

Simon Hawkins Managing Director of MMPRC said Maldives need new kind of tourism. We want to sell naturism. New naturist resorts will make Maldives big tourism destination in world. said Simon hawkins.

Ghassan is more handsome than father said Faathma Fulhi

By JJ Robinson Crusoe, Minivan News

It is biggest Maldivian spectacle since Mohamed Amin Didi's inauguration ceremony and Victory and New Radiant final match. Elderly ladies wearing veils gathered as rain soaked. They were gathered to see their new leader. The son of their former leader Maumoon.

I talked to one elderly lady Faathma Fulhi who had cheered for president maumoon in all elections of the country. Ms Fulhi retired from political campaigning in 2008 after a staggering defeat. But she can't spend time at home with her three grandchildren and her parrot Musinbee because the politics of Maldives has undergone grand transformation.

The new kid in the block is none other than Ghassan Maumoon. Young, educated in UK and full of charm.

"More handsome than father," said Faathma Fulhi sighing. "I wish I was born in the 80s".



There is no question young politicians from MDP are worried. Alhan Fahmy went with group marching towards Endherimaage. His political career and ambition of presidency for 2018 is already nightmare with Ghassan in horizon. Eva Abdulla, wearing a yellow blouse, went to Endherimaage too.

Talking to Minivan News reporters Eva said Ghassan was not presidential material. But she agreed that he was handsome.

Eva, Alhan and Ziyattey kicked doors of Endherimaage down and stole a cockatoo inside the house. They then gave the cockatoo to Ahmed Rasheed.

The police are investigating this accident. Ghassan has been summoned to police station three times and to Dhoonidhoo one time. Police said they have evidence of Ghassan throwing a wooden dildo into protestors. Dildos are forbidden in Maldives. But Ghassan's lawyers rescued him. His lawyer Azima Shukoor is now the second best lawyer in Maldives. The best lawyer is Dr Munavvar.

with special reporting by Eleanor and Navish.

Maldives soldiers deserting

Military police are doing special operation to look for deserters in MNDF. Maldives soldiers now deserting after Maldives government decided to send them for peacekeeping with UN. Many soldiers deserting because they were trained for war and not peacekeeping.

"Send us to war zones. We don't want to be peacekeepers. We are soldiers trained to kill," said one deserter caught by military police.

Defence Minister Thalhath Ibrahim Kaleyfaanu today told media everything in military will be open to journalists. He agreed to take media to special operations and training because after several weeks mystery of soldier who died in bodyguard training is not solved.

"if media is there we will see how the solider died with bullet wound in head," one journalist said.

The defense minister said MNDF is planning to send the deserters to the wars in deserts in Libya and Somalia.

"The deserters deserve nothing but the desert," said Thalhath the minister.

DPRS to ask president nasheed to create island to banish Abdul Hameed

kaashidhoo member Abdul hameed now convicted of corruption. but there is no institution in maldives sure if kaashidhoo member lost his seat. Erection's Commission said kaashidhoo member can appeal so they wait. erection's commission also want to test electronic voting system in kaashidhoo. because kaashidhoo is ancient island with Buddhist relic erection's commission want to make kaashidhoo very progressive by electronic voting. Raa-yithunge Majlees not sure if abdul hameed lose seat. now also many members not present in majlees meetings so it does not make different if one more seat is empty. said Raa-yithunge Majlees. Department of penitentiary said they trying to implement court conviction but there is no island to banish Abdul hameed. so now penitentiary going to ask president Nasheed to make one more island to banish hameed. because nasheed is a president for creating islands. recently nasheed created two islands in Fua Mulaku. after nasheed created two islands in Fua Mulaku Nasheed is now known as 'The Island President'.

Ukrainian nurses to be employed in Maldives hospitals

MD of health corporations resigning. Veymandoo hospital nurses striking. Maldives healthcare system is going through big problem. so president Mohamed Nasheed now decide to employ Ukrainian nurses in Maldives to improve quality. All Ukrainian nurses of Libyan leader Gaddafi now to get jobs in Maldives because Gaddadfi is now losing battle. president to make new corporation to employ all foreign nurses. long live MDP.

Ramazan Greetings

Ramazan greetings to Dr Mohamed Munavvar, members of Maldivian Reform Movement and all beloved people of the Maldives.

Dhiraagu loses global broadband race

Dhiraagu participated in a global broadband race and came 167th, ranking below an ISP in Somalia.

Dhiraagu marketing manager mirushan said Dhiraagu will participate in next year's global broadband race too in the category fiber optic marathon.

Too many yellow cards spoil MDP football match

Too many yellow cards have spoiled a football match held between MDP parliamentary group members and government to mark the 6th anniversary of MDP.

"This must be the first football match held ever in which the players greeted each yellow card with affection," said Reeko Moosa Maniku (RMM) who is the new temporary chairman of the party.

Dr Shaheed to undergo sex change operation

Dr Ahmed Shaheed, the United Nations Special Rapporteur on Iran, is to undergo a sex change operation in an attempt to enter Iran in disguise. Iranian officials had earlier stated they would not allow Dr Shaheed to enter Iran to investigate human rights violations. But they said they welcome Dr Shaheed visiting Iran as a tourist.

President Nasheed asks German MPs to join MDP

President Mohamed Nasheed has asked a visiting delegation of German MPs to join MDP to obtain majority for MDP in the parliament.

The President also asked Male Mayor Sarangu Adam Manik and successful entrepreneur Lolly Abdulla Jabir to give a white BMW to each German MP who joins MDP.



"Bayerische Motoren Werke AG or BMW is a rare thing in Germany. So we are confident that many German MPs will accept our offer," said Mohamed Zuhair, the press secretary at President's Office.

For Ramazan Thoddoo farmers grow yellow watermelon

For the coming Ramazan Thoddoo farmers are cultivating yellow watermelon. "We have always grown red watermelon. It is a new experience to grow yellow watermelon," said Thoddoo farmer Ibrahim.

Majority dhevaadheyve!

Hadhavaa bodu kurevvi maiy raskalako. mialhaa menge party ah abdulla shahid soi kuravaane goiy medhuveri kuravvadheyve. alhamenge party ah majority dhevvaadheyve.

Oh God. Please make Abdullah Shahid sign for MDP. Please give majority to our party! Amen.

Dharumavantha students teach Economics to President Nasheed

Grade 10 students in Dharumavantha School took an Economics lesson for President Nasheed.

"We are worried because the President is not able to handle the economy. Our parents are spending more to buy food for us. We are able to have less milk than before. Earlier our parents gave us milk tea with breakfast before we went to school. Now they give us black tea. So we decided to teach the President what we learned from Economics lessons at school," said a student.

"The first thing we learn in Economics is 'human wants are unlimited but natural resources are limited'. We told President he would want to build hundreds of flats in all islands of Maldives but if there are no resources to do that then it becomes economically not possible.

"We also taught him all MDP activists would want to become ministers, state ministers and deputy ministers because human wants are unlimited. But he should not appoint them because there is not enough money or resources to pay their salaries."

President's Press Secretary Mohamed Zuhair said the President deeply appreciates the initiative by Dharumavantha students to teach some basic economics to the President. Zuhair said the President will use some tips given by the students in managing the economy.

The students also presented the President with an Economics textbook "Economics for Dummies."

IMF boss arrested at Marble guesthouse

IMF boss Dominique Strauss-Kahn was arrested at Marble Guesthouse in Male. He is suspected of trying to rape a girl while drunk. Police arrived at the scene after some neighbours heard shouts from guesthouse room. IMF boss was in Maldives to meet Abdulla Rifau (Bochey) youth leader of People's Assistance (PA) who is organizing youth protests to decrease prices. Bochey was not in the guesthouse at time of accident. PA Registrar Mohamed Rasheed (Khiyaalee) did not comment.

Vote for special enjoy and win an orgy

Vote for special enjoy in MDP election. all voters of special enjoy will get free orgy with special enjoy's hot mistress Niusha. free wine, free weed, free heroin included. vote for special enjoy and enjoy the best orgy in town. MDP is best party in whole universe. now all girls' favourite sexy politicians special enjoy and Alhan Fuckme to be president and vice president of MDP. all maldivian women liberated soon. just vote for special enjoy.

two million people join PA

Two million people joined Abdulla Yameen's Public Announcement (PA) party. Yameen half-brother of ex-president Gayoom. Yameen is economist studied from American University of Lebanon. very experienced former trade minister. experienced in selling oil to Burma. Registrar of PA Khiyaalee Mohamed Rasheed said more people will join PA. It will be very popular party in Maldives. Even Zaeem Maumoon thinking of joining PA. Now PA growing faster than twitter. Hiyalee said.

One million people join PA

One million people joined Personal Assistant (PA) party of Abdulla Yameen. Half-brother of ex-president Gayoom. Yameen is economist studied at American University in Lebanon. Registrar of PA Shady Mohamed Rasheed (Hiyalee) said first one million people join but target is to have 10 million people join in one month. PA growing faster than Facebook. Soon it will be most popular party. Hiyalee said.

MP arrested for having sex with goat

Police arrested today Hassan Adil, an MP from Maldivian Democratic Party, for allegedly having sex with a goat. Adil is suspected of having sex with the goat in Makunudhoo island in Haa Dhaal.

"The owner of the goat found the poor animal on the beach. It was very weak," the newly elected councillor of Makunudhoo told reporters. The local council referred the matter to police as the Local Governance Act does not prescribe a course of action for councils to adopt when a goat is raped.

The police confirmed the case was under investigation.

Adil was in Makunudhoo to campaign for Ibrahim Hussain Zaki, the special enjoy of the president, currently contesting for MDP presidency.

"If I had known Adil had no way of fulfilling his carnal desires I would have invited him to my harem. I would have introduced him to my entourage of beautiful young ladies and wine," Zaki told reporters.

Zaki's campaign office said the incident would not affect the special enjoy's popularity nor his edge in the campaign over rival Ibrahim Didi, former fisheries minister.

On Monday, MDP Chairperson Mariya Ahmed Didi withdrew a resolution she had submitted to the parliament proposing to remove the monthly allowance of 20,000 rufiya for MPs.

"I don't think even 20,000 is now sufficient. The allowance has to be given because some MPs need that money to procure the services of prostitutes and visit the best whorehouses in the region. Without the allowance there will be more scandals involving goats," Mariya said in parliament, explaining the reason for withdrawing the resolution.

Mariya said she will not be taking the monthly allowance. "I get enough money to buy cucumbers," Mariya said.

The Human Rights Commission of Maldives said it will not comment on the goat incident as animal rights is not part of the commission's mandate.

After consulting religious scholars the people of Makunudhoo killed the goat according to Islamic tradition and buried it. A spokesman for police said this amounted to destroying the evidence as the police forensic team has not reached Makunudhoo yet.

Mohamed Zuhair, the press secretary for president, denied the claims made by opposition that evidence was purposefully destroyed to protect the MP from MDP. He said the government would introduce new steps to protect animals in the Maldives.

"The president is considering to put a policeman behind every goat," Zuhair said.

Maldives Police to be armed with lethal weapons to combat dollar black market

Maldives Police are to be armed with lethal weapons to combat the illegal dollar black market prevailing in the country, the government said today.

President Nasheed vowed to solve the dollar black market crisis. "I will do that even if I have to put a policeman chasing each dollar," Nasheed told reporters.

Police are to be armed with pistols and light weapons while they patrol the streets looking for people suspected of exchanging dollars at high prices.

In a successful operation police arrested a Bangladeshi man from a shop in capital Male on Tuesday for exchanging dollars on the black market.

The government is also trying to remove Fazeel Najeeb, Governor of Maldives Monetary Authority (MMA), for the failure of the regulatory to take satisfactory measures to control the dollar black market.

"We will remove Mr Najeeb and appoint an MDP activist from Haruge. A tourist guide from Chandhanee Magu will be suitable for Governor of MMA. Tourist guides have experience of handling dollars," President's Press Secretary Mohamed Zuhair said.

Alhan Fuckme for MDP Vice President

MDP best party in Maldives and whole world. Most democratic party. Now very democratic person compete for MDP Vice President. Vote for Alhan Fuckme. He very experienced in democracy. Every person who vote for Alhan Fuckme will get one ride in white BMW.

Congratulations to Dr Munavvar

Today is big day for politics Maldives. Dr Mohamed Munavvar has registered Maldives Reform Movement. The Elections Commission gave certificate. At last the party is now legal in Maldives. Congratulations Dr Munavvar for his vision and determination make Maldives very democratic country. Now Dr Munavvar is one step closer to be true leader of beloved nation.

Being a friday he married

A leopard can change its colour from blue to pink to yellow but it can never change its spots.

A womanizer can marry, divorce, marry, divorce and marry again but he can never be faithful.

Maldivian farmers condemn Sheikh Fareed

Maldivian farmers condemned Sheikh Fareed today for the learned Sheikh's comments on cucumbers.

"The Sheikh's comments on cucumbers were made at a time when Maldivian farmers are experiencing a severe reduction of income because of the global economic downturn and dollar shortages in Maldives. Fareed was irresponsible when he made comments that would discourage people, especially women, from buying cucumbers," Maldivian Farmers' Association said in a statement.

"Cucumbers are highly valued for its nutritional value and famous for its skin regeneration properties. By associating cucumbers with sex toys, Sheikh Fareed is causing a substantial loss to the Maldivian farmers," the statement said.

Farmers' collectives from Thoddoo, Feevaku, Foamulaku and Kaashidhoo endorsed the statement.

Special Enjoy for MDP President

please erect special enjoy for MDP president because Mdp best party in Maldives. only party mammal can run good party. special enjoy experience in all kinds of party. he experience party in resorts with alca-whole and girls. he experienced political party with mdp. he experienced minister under gay-yoom. when tourism minister he get velaavaru resort for friend. when tourism minister he make A man for all islands for gay-yoom. now he make a man for all sandbanks for anni.

Colonel Qaddafi asks Nasheed to stop atrocities in Funadhoo

Colonel Muammar Qaddafi, leader of Libya, ask President Mohamed Nasheed to stop atrocities in Funadhoo Shaviyani Atoll.

Sending STAR Force to island with unarmed protesters is act of cowardice, Colonel Qaddafi told Nasheed.

Qaddafi called on Nasheed to step down if he cannot rule Maldives with support of people.

"I have ruled Libya for 42 years and still my people love me," Qaddafi told Nasheed.

United Nations Security Council meet today to discuss sanctions against Maldives because police committing atrocities in Funadhoo and Thulusdhoo.

Cyber video sex scandal rocks Maldives

Everybody talking now about cyber video sex scandal in Maldives. This is newspaper headline in all newspapers. Nobody knows who produce this video sex. But many Maldivian state dignitaries and government officials involved said Haulath, Maldives English language professor living in UK. This video sex come after government started plans to start porn industry in Maldives. Haulath said Cabinet Secretary also involved. This very unbelievable because government banned cabinet secretary using facebook one year ago. Haulath also list Sarong A Damn Maniac, now elected mayor of Male. But Sarong video looks like Sarong but some people think its not Sarong. Now people in Maldives very confused. They don't know who to believe. On one side Haulath, English language professor from Maldives. On other side Press Secretary Mohamed Zuhair. Juhaa said videos could be fake and now police checking if videos real. Police want Court Order to check all computers in Maldives. It will take one year to get Court Order one more year to check all computers in Maldives and one more year for investigation complete. Minivan News reporters blame Facebook for scandal. They think Facebook evil and there is application on Facebook automatically striptease a person who join Facebook.

Our source not reveal for safety reasons. J.J. Robinson Crusoe helped in reporting.

Angelic Sharon asks ASL

Angelic Sharon: me. hot Russian chick. what is your asl?

Dirty Maldivian Politician: wa-alaikumu-salaam

Angelic Sharon: asl?

Dirty Maldivian Politician: what is asl?

Angelic Sharon: age, sex, location?

Dirty Maldivian Politician: age 44, sex i like very much, location Male

Angelic Sharon: location Male or sex Male?

Dirty Maldivian Politician: location Male sex i like v much

Angelic Sharon: you want to see my nude video?

Dirty Maldivian Politician: yes. yes.

Angelic Sharon shows nude video

Angelic Sharon: Now show me your nude video

Dirty Maldivian Politician takes off clothes

2 weeks later

Dirty Maldivian Politician gets phone call. he faints.

2 weeks later

Raayyithunge Majlis members increase allowance to pay for blackmail

2 weeks later

Dirty Maldivian Politician calls police

to be continued... script to sell to Nahula to make film.

Don't walk like a Maldivian - what Egyptians can learn

By Moussa Muneer

There is a revolution brewing in Egypt. It is being cooked in a cauldron in Tahrir Square. If the heat is strong enough the dictatorial rule of Hosni Mubarak will be over in a matter of months if not weeks. When a new democratic government is established in Egypt, it can learn some lessons from the democratic exercise of the Maldives.

The new President of Egypt should be someone with a vision, bold enough to take decisive action and should prefer action over words. He or she should not make false campaign promises. Major cities in Egypt has a large population but people are living in abject poverty. The new president should not promise to build 10,000 flats in Alexandria, 10,500 flats in Cairo and 11,500 flats in Sinai in five years. The economy of Egypt should be in a better shape before such ambitious projects are implemented. Or else the new president will earn the nickname of Al-Akh Imaaraath.

The new President, whether he is El-Baradai or Amru Moussa, or a completely different person, should not appoint corrupt figures from the Mubarak regime to influential posts. The new president should not appoint as the president's special envoy someone accused of profiting from selling resorts in Sherm Al-Shaikh.

The new President should immediately work to promote the living conditions of the inhabitants of Cairo. He or she should appoint a competent person as the president of Cairo Municipality. This post should not be given to a person just because he has spent a fortune to bring the new government to power. This post should not be given to a person who used influence to bring back to Egypt his son who was serving a drug related sentence in Libya.

The new President should not appoint former porn stars to Cabinet. He or she should not appoint a nutritionist as deputy foreign minister or a liar as foreign minister. He or she should appoint very capable people to the Cabinet because the failures of the Cabinet will collectively weaken the democracy.

The new president should not trust the leaders of the political parties in the ruling coalition, especially the Chairperson of the largest party. If an inefficient person is the Chairperson then the majority of the seats in parliament will go to Mubarak sympathizers and Mubarak's party NDP in the next parliament election. Majority of seats in the local council election will also go to Mubarak's party except in Cairo and Alexandria.

Even if Gemal Mubarak tries to run for a seat in parliament, the democratic parties should not promote an idiot as a candidate in that constituency with the aim of defeating Gemal Mubarak.

The new president should not make bold promises that Mubarak will be prosecuted and taken to International Court of Justice if the new president has no intention of doing it. Mubarak must be able to live in Egypt with dignity but the people who were wronged and tortured under his regime must be provided with justice.

The new president should appoint someone with courage to reform the judicial sector of Egypt as it is one of the most corrupt sectors. However, if a gang riding horses or camels come and attack the reformist with knives, the president should protect the reformist and bring the perpetrators to justice.

The new government can cut state funding for pro-Mubarak newspaper Al-Ahram but the state-owned TV stations should be fully independent. Those TV stations should not be another vehicle of propaganda and air programmes praising the new government.

The new president should be a president for all cities and towns of Egypt. He or she should be willing to reach out to Mubarak supporters and unite the whole Egypt. Hence, he or she should make sure foundation stones and bricks are not in the colour of the ruling party or parties but in the colour of concrete. The lesson the new president should learn from Maldivians is "ka'cha'h elhi bingale'h kechaai hamayaih elhiyas hunnaanee kachaseheve." A foundation that is laid in a wrong way will affect the building even if it reaches the sky. This is the wisdom used by Egyptian pharaohs when they built the pyramids.


Moussa Muneer is a student of journalism at Al-Azhar University of Cairo. He has been brought back to the Maldives because of the unrest in Egypt. This is his first article for a newspaper in Maldives.

President Nasheed asks Maniack to step down

President Mohamed Nasheed ask Sarong A Damn Maniac to step down as president of Male Municipality. "People are confusing me President and you President. Too many presidents in a country spoil the broth. You don't have to be afraid of a democratic local council. If people decide to elect you then you can remain in democratic council." Nasheed told Sarong.

Following Nasheed's advice Sarong step down now as Male Municipality president. But he still send thugs to Assad camp and Sherin camp to make them fear before election day.

Vote for the mother of all parties

If Ronald Reagan could be US President, if Arnold Schwarzenegger could be the governor of california, if Reeko Moosa Manik could be the leader of MDP Parliamentary Group, why can't Jambu Hassan Afeef get elected as a Male Councilor for Machangoalhi? Why can't Lufshaan Shakeeb get elected as a Male Councilor for Henveyru? Why can't Afrah get elected? Why can't Rukuma Ahmed get elected? They all can. Vote for MDP. Vote for the best political party ever formed in the universe. The party of president Mohamed Nasheed. The party of Mariya Ahmed Didi. The party of Ibrahim Hussain Zaki. The party of Ahmed Abdulla. The party in alliance with Red Wave Saleem. The party of Naseem Soa.

DDoS against Dhiraagu haram

Distributed Denial of Service (DDos) attacks against Maldives ISP Dhiraagu is haram, Ministry of Islamic Affairs said in a fatwa today.

"DDoS against Dhiraagu is malicious and causes harm to Dhiraagu and society. Today people's lives are connected to Internet. They use Internet to pay zakat and to read websites recruiting Maldivians for jihad in Afghanistan. Internet should not be disrupted," the ministry said.

The group behind the attack said on twitter that the attack was a result of Dhiraagu's outrageously high prices:

Parliament members raised their elevenses. We want to lower our ISP prices! 10:07 PM Dec 30th

Our primary target: Dhiraagu Network 10:00 PM Dec 30th

Islands of Maldives also need internet at high speed, Not at snails pace! http://goo.gl/mI5vq #fb #dhiraagufail 1:16 PM Dec 30th

@DHIRAAGU how about 1 laari per ddos packet

Islamic Ministry also condemned Dhiraagu for charging high prices from customers. Islam instructs people not to cheat when doing business and to charge reasonable prices, Minister Dr Abdul Majeed Abdul Bari said. He recalled the story when Caliph Umar bin Khattab overheard a woman telling her daughter to mix water with milk to increase volume of milk when selling. Umar was disguised as an ordinary man and strolling through the city of Medina during the night to see if everything was alright. (This practice of walking around the city in disguise was later copied by King Abdullah of Jordan, President Nasheed of Maldives and Batman in Gotham City. President Nasheed did this during Ramadan.) Umar overheard the girl tell the mother it would be against Islam to add water to milk and that the Caliph said not to mix things with milk. Umar summoned the girl and mother next day to his court and rewards the girl by offering her one of his sons to marry.

"Umar was known as Umar Farooq (he who distinguishes truth from falsehood) for his just ways. Sadly in Maldives we don't have such people now. We only have a Farooq Umar (Soarey) who is the Chairman of STO," Abdul Majeed said.

Majeed said Dhiraagu charges high prices for very few kilobytes of data and it was like mixing water with milk.

Naseem, who is a friend of the owner of this blog and who had helped in editing the posts, said the attack on Dhiraagu is a result of repeatedly ignoring requests by customers to reduce the prices. Naseem went to Communications Authority of Maldives in 2009 to complain about Dhiraagu's prices.

"If they listened to me then and improved services we will not be facing this problem. Now a group of teenagers are disrupting the whole Internet in Maldives through DDoS," Naseem said.

Naseem, who is celebrating getting 3,000 people's signatures to form his mentor Dr Munavvar's party, said their party will take the issue of Dhiraagu's sale of shares to Cable & Wireless.