"Ladies' finger is good for cooking but not good for pointing": Ilham

Ilham Ahmed, MP for Gemanafushi and Deputy Leader of Republican Party, has vowed to cut off the fingers of TVM anchor Liza Laurella if the party's presidential candidate Qasim Ibrahim wins the presidential election. Republican Party is unhappy about Liza's grilling of Qasim in a Siyaasath programme TVM has broadcasted recently. Qasim was visibly growing impatient at Liza's pointing of fingers at him and during the live programme the candidate had to remind the TV anchor that pointing fingers at people was a rude behaviour.

"We would not mind if she metaphorically pointed fingers at our candidate. We are used to accusations and rumours against our candidate. What we find utterly unacceptable and completely disgusting is that Liza was literally pointing her fingers at our beloved candidate," Ilham justified the Republican Party's indignation.

"Ladies' finger is good for cooking but not good for pointing," Ilham said.

Ilham is known for his promises to cut off things and the young politician has been accused of cutting off various objects. In a Republican Party rally he recently promised that a government formed by Qasim will amputate hands of blackmailers.  In February 2012 he was accused of cutting off a cable used by Maldives National Broadcasting Corporation (MNBC) to broadcast a committee session of the parliament. Ilham is sometimes known for receiving cuts and injuries too. In October 2011 he was at the receiving end of a cut when he claimed to have sustained injuries inside the parliament. Ilham accused MP Ibrahim Rasheed (Bonda) of throwing an empty glass at him.

Ilham is also famous for resigning from the Deputy Leader position of various political parties. In September 2011 he resigned from the post of Deputy Leader of Dhivehi Rayyithunge Party (DRP). In April 2013 he resigned from the post of Deputy Leader of Progressive Party of Maldives (PPM).

Ilham's love-hate relationship with MNBC and TVM started after he was fired from the post of a producer at TVM. However, his boldest threat against TVM so far has been the promise to cut off the fingers of presenter Liza Laurella.

"You can't give the finger to our presidential candidate and get away with it. Thank you for the Laura but no thanks for the Laurella," Ilham said.

Yameen advises Singh on how to improve Indian economy

Maldivian presidential candidate Yameen Abdul Gayoom, who is visiting India following an invitation of the Indian Prime Minister Dr Manmohan Singh, has advised the Indian PM on how to improve the Indian economy.

Yameen advised Singh to boost Indian economy by exporting crude oil to emerging markets such as Burma. He also suggested the Indian government to make rapid investments in foreign commodity markets and buy a tea plantation in Sri Lanka.

Yameen, who studied in Lebanon and the U.S., is the second best economist in South Asia. The best economist is Dr Qasim Ibrahim, former finance minister of Maldives, who is also running for presidency.

Qasim's mother died before he was born

Qasim's mother died 3 months before he was born. His father got blind when he was 3 months old. He came to Male' as an orphan. He cleaned the bicycles of Abbas Ibrahim and Ilyas Ibrahim when he was growing up in Endherimaage. As a reward for keeping the bicycle spotless and clean, Ilyas is now supporting Qasim in the presidential race. You also can support Qasim. This blog supported Qasim in the 2008 presidential race too. Adhaalath Party is supporting Qasim too. If you are a kind person and if you get easily moved to tears after watching Hindhi dramas you must vote for Qasim because he came to Male' as an orphan and built a business empire. Qasim deserves our sympathy.

Sheikh Ilyas to undress MPs but girl arrested for wearing revealing clothes

Sheikh Ilyas is going to undress MPs in parliament when he is summoned to penal code committee but 16 year old Maldivian girl arrested on street for wearing revealing clothes. If the girl is also a MP then Maldives Police Service will not arrest her because Sheikh Ilyas is going to undress her anyway. Maldives Police Service is now religious police. Attorney General Bisham is now going to submit draft law to parliament on Maldivian women's dress code. Mini skirts three inches below waist will be too short for moral police and will be arrested on spot. Mini skirts four inches below waist will be indecent and will be warned on spot. Police Commissioner Abdulla Riyaz Miss is now going to Saudi Arabia for religious police training. Instead of Scotland now trainers for Maldives Police will come from Saudi Arabia. They will train police and also preach in Ramazan and go back after Eid after drinking a vodka in Qasim Ibrahim's Paradise.

Sheikh Ilyas to undress MPs

Sheikh Ilyas, an outspoken preacher from Adhaalath Party, said he will undress MPs when he is summoned to parliamentary committee on penal code. Ilyas will use his powers of hypnosis to cast a spell on the female MPs to undress them.

"The MPs will be revealed to the whole country with their nakedness. I call upon the tv stations to live broadcast this epic session," Ilyas said.

MP Kubey from MDP said he will record that session on his ipad provided that Ilyas does not undress him first.

MDP Office to be relocated to H. Rabee-ee Manzil

MDP Secretariat has informed the media today that MDP Office is to be relocated to H. Rabee-ee Manzil. MDP said the relocation is necessary because MDP has more members now and MDP needs a bigger space to prepare for this year's presidential election.

Hamid Abdul Gafoor told the media that MDP members will not experience any inconvenience from the relocation because the current office is also in Sosun Magu.

"We are relocating to a premise that is in Sosun Magu. We just moved a few meters closer to Usfasgandu and this will make it easy to conduct logistics in the campaign," Hamid said.

The new office of MDP is a tall building in Sosun Magu in front of Ibrahimi Mosque.

"I remember stopping near that building and shouting at the top of my voice in every MDP demonstration. I always thought the building belonged to a Baagee. I don't know why that building was selected as the office," said Ismail Fulhu, an MDP activist at Usfasgandu.

Ismail Fulhu said MDP will win the election from one round because some powerful person recently joined MDP.

Sheikh Imran to circumcise Jeffery Salim Waheed

Sheikh Imran, the politically active religious scholar from Adhaalath Party, is to circumcise Jeffery Salim Waheed, the one and only son of President Dr Mohamed Waheed Hassan. A circumcision party is to be held at Hilaaleege this month.

"I did not circumcise my son Jeffery Salim when he was a child because I wanted him to discover the true path when he grew up. I wanted him to read holy books, get enlightened and make a choice as an adult. After spending one year in the company of Adhaalath Party scholars, my son has now learned a lot about the true path," the President told Television Maldives.

Sheikh Imran said it gives him immense pleasure to circumcise the son of the Head of State.

"We have been a great pillar of support for Dr Waheed ever since he took oath as President after defeating that devil Mohamed Nasheed in our glorious people's revolution last year. I have had many opportunities to talk to Jeffery Salim in the past year. He is a Stanford-educated bright chap who can be an ideal Muslim after he is circumcised," Sheikh Imran told TVM.

"We outlined our terms to the President Waheed before we declared our support to him in this year's presidential election. One of our terms is assigning Adhaalath Party three slots in the cabinet including the Ministry of Islamic Affairs if Dr Waheed won the presidency. We also requested Dr Waheed's son Jeffery Salim to be circumcised according to Islamic tradition. We are happy that Dr Waheed agreed to our demands," Sheikh Shaheem Ali Saeed, the Minister of Islamic Affairs told TVM.

"God willing, we will defeat Nasheed, Yameen, Qasim and Thasmeen in the presidential election. We will establish a true Islamic republic with Islamic Sharia under the leadership of Dr Waheed," Sheikh Shaheem said.