މީހުން އުޅޭ ރަށްރަށުގައި ބްރާ ވިއްކުމުގެ ހުއްދަ ދީފި

އާދިލް ސުލޭމާން އަކީ ސްޓޭޓް މިނިސްޓަރު އިކޮނޮމިކް ޑިވެލޮޕްމެންޓު. އާދިލް ސުލޭމާން ދިވެހިރާށްޖޭގެ މީހުން ދިރިއުޅޭ ހުރިހާ ރަށެއްގައި ބްރާ ވިށްކުމުގެ ހުއްދަ ދީފި. މާރިޔާގެ ކުރީގެ ފިރިމީހާ ސައްތާރު މާލޭގައި ވިކްޓޯރިޔާސް ސީކްރެޓް ބްރާ ފިހާރަ ހުޅުވަން ތަށްޔާރުވެއްޖެ. މީހުން ދިރިއުޅޭ ރަށްރަށުގަ ބްރާ ވިއްކުމާ ދެކޮޅައް އަދާލަތު ޕާޓީން މުޒާހަރާއެއް ރާވައިފި. އިކޮނޮމިކް މިނިސްޓަރު ތެޔޮދަމައިދޭ ރަޝީދުގެ ގެކޮޅު ކުރިމަތީ އާންމުންގެ ބަޔަކު ނުރުހުން ފާޅުކޮށްފި. ރީކޯ މޫސަގެ ކާރުގެ ޑިކީން 168 ބްރާ ފުލުހުން ހޯދައިފި. މީގެ ތެރޭ ހިމެނެނީ މާލޭގައި އާންމުކޮށް ނުގެންގުޅޭ ޒާތުގެ ބްރާކަމައް ފުލުހުން ވިދާޅުވޭ. ބްރާ ވިއްކުމާ ބެހޭ ގަވާއިދު ގެޒެޓް ނުކުރާ ކަމަށް ރައީސް އޮފީހުން ވިދާޅުވެއްޖެ. ރީކޯ މޫސަގެ ކާރުން ފެނުނު ބްރާތަކާ މޫސައާއި ގުޅުމެއް ނުވާ ކަމަށާ މޫސަ ބްރާ ނާޅާނެ ކަމުގެ ޔަގީންކަން އޮތް ކަމައް ރައީސް އޮފީހުގެ ޕްރެސް ސެކެޓްރީ ޖުހާ ވިދާޅުވެއްޖެ.

Sir Rung A Damn Maniac want confiscate MDP tent

Sir Rung A Damn Maniac is President of Male Kunicipality. He is very good orator. He give nice speech at MDP gathering on the beach in the rain to welcome Alhan Fuckme and Ahmed Abdulla. But MDP Chairperson Mariya give better speech. So now Sir Rung A Damn Maniac very jealous. He want confiscate MDP tent. So Mariya now telephone call Muammar Qaddafi to get new tent.

Sir Rung A Damn Maniac campaign manager for President Nasheed. He come to campaign with Waheed Come and Waheed Go. MDP want to hide their UK campaign manager conservative James McGrath. So they put Sir Rung A Damn Maniac in front as cover. But Sir Rung A Damn Maniac give campaign fund to DRP too. Hypocrite exposed by Auditor General report.

Sir Rung A Damn Maniac put yellow ugly boxes on Majeedhee Road for Eid Holidays. He connect electricity and light boxes. So electricity cost go high. So IMF ask government to cut STELCO subsidy and increase electricity unit charges. Mariya very embarrassed.

Sir Rung A Damn Maniac build bridge between Maldives Monetary Authority and fishermen's boats. So fishermen can get light loan easily. Direct link between government financial assistance and fishermen. Sir Rung A Damn Maniac is President Nasheed's best political appointment. Shows brilliant mind President Nasheed has and vision for solving all problems in Male.

MDP now more audible after Ahmed Abdulla joins

The ruling Maldivian Democratic Party (MDP) is now more audible and vocal after Ahmed Abdulla joined the party, MDP's Chairperson Mariya Ahmed Didi said.

Abdulla, who served the government of the ex-President Gayoom as Minister of Health, Minister of Information and Minister of Environment, Energy and Water, joined the MDP last week, in a glittering ceremony held on the Artificial Beach of Male. Members of Parliament Alhan Fahmy and Abdul Ghafoor also joined the MDP during the ceremony, providing the party a narrow majority in the parliament.

"In recent months, MDP has been criticized for lethargy and inactivity. By bringing Ahmed Abdulla into our party, we hope to energize the party and make it more audible. He will make MDP's voice louder and make sure the party's voice is distinct from other political parties in the Maldives. He will make MDP's voice heard among the Maldivian people," Mariya said.

"Ahmed Abdulla is a seasoned politician. I am confident MDP members will welcome his voice at party rallies more enthusiastically. He will give a boost to the already distinct voice of our Chairperson Mariya Didi," said Reeko Moosa, the party's Parliamentary Group Leader, complimenting Abdulla, who was in the Republican Party before.

Alhan Fuckme joins MDP on the beach in the rain

Alhan Fuckme parliament member for Feydhoo sector joins MDP in artificial beach. Former DRP MP having problems before with DRP after Alhan saved Dr Shaheed in no coincidence vote. Alhan Fuckme receive garland from MDP ladies supporters. Many ladies shrieked as Alhan addressed gathering on the beach in the rain.

"Alhan sexiest MP in parliament. I already wet not from rain but after seeing Alhan," said Aishath Saleema, elderly MDP supporter lady wearing veil.

Announcement came many other MPs also join MDP. Kaashidhoo sector member Abdul Hameed also join MDP before. He is facing charges corruption case in Jinaaee Coat.

Long time service man to government Ahmed Abdulla also join MDP. Ahmed Abdulla first went from DRP to Jumhooree Party and now to MDP.

Mariya Didi, MDP chairperson, now say MDP very strong party. She is from Comrade Villa. Her sister Haula is a nutritionist. But now Deputy Foreign Minister.

Re-cow Moosa now boasts MDP majority party in parliament. He warned judges to be fair in convicting. Or else judges will be removed by parliament. So all judges now afraid to convict Kaashidhoo sector member Abdul Hameed in corruption case.

State Fisheries Minister Dr Hussain Rasheed Hassan also join MDP again. Mariya said this is reaffirming marriage vows for Dr Hussain and MDP. Dr Hussain very active in MDP before but went to Republican Party because he thought Gasim Ibrahim best person for President and Anni does not look like a President. But now Dr Hussain likes Anni because Anni gives him state minister job.

Special Enjoy also address gathering on the beach in the rain. Special enjoy put his two hands up in prayer reciting after Sheikh Zaki and special enjoy imagined young girl he had cannabis and sex with last month. As special enjoy reaches orgasm Sheikh Zaki finish his prayer and MDP now majority party in parliament. Aishath Saleema return to house all wet and started fantasizing about Alhan Fuckme.

With special reporting by Lubna from the Artificial Beach.

MADHANA bad MADHAHA good says Salaf

The government's MADHANA programme not good, but TVM's MADHAHA programme is good, says Jamiyya-Al-Salaf. Ali Rameez's madhaha the best, says Salaf.