Monday, April 26, 2010

Sheikh Shaheem to revoke license of unqualified preachers

Sheikh Mohamed Shaheem Ali Saeed, the Minister of State for Islamic Affairs has said he will revoke the preaching licenses of all unqualified preachers in Maldives. The following guidelines shall be used to determine if a preacher is qualified or not:

1. The preacher or scholar should be married to 3 or more wives. Sheikh Shaheem said Gasim Ibrahim will be able to control the country because he is married to 4 women. Any preacher married to 4 women will be able to control the audience during preaching, Sheikh Shaheem explained.

2. The preacher or scholar should encourage men to keep slave girls or concubines. Sheikh Shaheem strongly encourages men to keep concubines. When rumours spread in Male' about a secretly kept concubine, Sheikh Shaheem made fun of the people who spread the news instead of criticizing the practice. He did not say the practice was against Islamic teachings.

3. The preacher or scholar must be able to give lectures on comparative religion, making fun of other religions. Sheikh Shaheem recently told Minivan News he could teach comparative religion in Maldives because he learned about it. However, Sheikh Hussain Rasheed Ahmed, President of Adhaalath Party, later told Minivan News there was nobody in Maldives who could teach comparative religion in the Maldives.

4. The preacher or scholar must explain the cause of natural catastrophes as God's curses. The preacher should say the tsunami was caused by Maldivian women running naked on the white sandy beaches and the earthquake in Taiwan on April 26 was caused by Boobquake, western women showing their cleavage to challenge an Iranian cleric.

Based on the above criteria, Sheikh Shaheem is the only qualified preacher in the Maldives. The first person whose license will be revoked is Sheikh Hussain Rasheed who is openly defying Sheikh Shaheem. The next will be Sheikh Ilyas who is more popular than Shaheem because of his famous description of heaven full of women with erect nipples. The third will be Sheikh Ibrahim Fareed (Naraka Fareed) whose lectures have live videos from hell projected on a screen. When all other preachers are out of the scene, Sheikh Shaheem will make his bid for the presidency in 2013.

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